Relentless Affection

I went for a walk today at the Carl Sandburg Farm in E. Flat Rock, NC.


If you haven't been there, you must go. The hike up Big Glassy Mountain is my favorite.


I go to the Sandburg Farm anytime I am feeling especially stressed or anxious...anytime I need to remove myself from the busyness surrounding me and really air out the brain cells. Today was one of those days.


I woke this morning wrestling with God over something that I am uncomfortable with, but through the trusted council of a spiritual advisor I feel that it is something God is calling me to do anyway. He never lets us chill out in the "comfortable", does He?


So this "thing" that God is calling me to do is something that in the end may bring ME absolutely no benefit whatsover. In fact, there is a big chance it will make MY heart hurt. But guess what? It's not about ME. And that is why I am rebelling.


Let's face it...we all have that selfishness in us, don't we? We are more than happy to be instruments in God's hands, as long as we are left with a "feel good" result. But what if what He is asking us to do is so completely about someone else...that we know (or we think we know) that there is little chance we will experience any result but pain.

So with that in mind, I headed to my retreat with the trail at the Sandburg Farm. I have never failed to come down off that mountain feeling anything but refreshed. Never, that is, until just a few short weeks ago...

It was late on a Saturday afternoon, and I decided that I “needed” some think time at the Sandburg Farm.

I arrived around 6:00 pm to the sound of thunder. It appeared that most people were coming down off the mountain, but I was in a frame of mind that made me determined to be at the top. I needed to be at the top. So up I climbed.

Okay, no need to tell me that I was making bad decisions all around that day. Alone. Trail. Thunder. Evening. I know, I know.

I passed a small handful of people coming down the mountain within the first few minutes of my hike, but then the trail was quiet and I walked the 1.3 miles to the top with the trail to myself.

By the time I reached the top of Big Glassy, the thunder was moving off in the distance and the view was spectacular as always. It was peaceful. Peace was what I was searching for that day. I sat down and just absorbed it into my soul.

A few minutes after arriving, a family of four reached the top. They enjoyed the view for maybe five minutes and then they turned and started back down, and once again the mountain was mine.

I sat there for almost a full hour entirely by myself. I just didn’t want to leave. Up there it was easy to remove myself from everything that was bothering me down below. It was easier to feel close to God.

Eventually I realized that I had better start the trek down before dusk settled in, but I moved rather reluctantly, slowly starting my stroll down the trail, hating the thought of reaching the bottom.

Shortly after starting down, a man came jogging UP the trail past me. Why would anyone want to jog UP a trail? :-)

If you have read my previous blog, you will know what one of my biggest fears is. Now you will know what another one of my biggest fears is. Being alone on a trail and meeting a man. Sorry, guys, I’m not trying to offend you. Blame it on the news media.

However, that fear doesn’t usually stop me from hiking. The desire to be outdoors is greater than the fear.

He looked like he was training for something, because he was carrying a backpack and drinking from one of those thingies where there is a pack of water and a long straw that goes into your mouth. I have no idea what that is called, but it made me feel more safe thinking that he was training for something.

I kept up my slow stroll downward, and shortly Mr. Man made it to the top of the mountain and was on his way back down, passing me. He was out of sight.

A minute later I rounded a corner and there ahead of me on the trail was Mr. Man. Except this time he wasn’t jogging. He had stopped and was turned facing my direction. Standing. Looking at me. Looking at me. Looking at me.

Ladies, I can only say that my legs turned to jelly instantly. It was my every fear turned true. My hand instantly went for my cell phone in my pocket, but I was fumbling and it wouldn’t come out.

Then ever so calmly he spoke…..…”There’s a bear.”

I looked directly past him, and there standing in the middle of the trail was…. A BEAR!!!

If I only had words to describe what my body was going through at that time. In one instant I thought an ax murderer was coming to take me away and in the next I thought I was a goner in the jaws of a bear. I can only say the human mind/body can’t take that kind of shock too often. I almost wet my pants!!

For one long eternal moment which seemed like sixty minutes but was probably more like ten seconds, we stood staring at the bear and the bear stood staring at us. And my hand was STILL struggling to get the cell phone out of the pocket. Oh yea, I knew I was too far from anything to get help in time, but I decided if I was going to die at the hands of that bear, I wanted someone from 911 to hear it happening.

Then the bear turned and lumbered off the trail, crashing through the woods and making plenty of noise while doing it. We could hear him for quite some time as he disappeared into the mountain.

In the span of thirty seconds, the ax murderer became my hero. I can only say I was practically worshipping at his feet…”I am so glad you were here!” “Thank you for being here!” “OH, I am SO GLAD you were HERE!” "Thank you for stopping!!" (to which he replied, "Well, I really wasn't going to pass that bear.)

Poor guy. He really just wanted to jog.

When I look back on those moments, I can't help but think of God. Isn't that how we are with God? We hit a rough patch, or a snag, and we think He is the meanest, cruelest, uncaring, distanced, you name it. How could HE treat ME like this? Who does HE think HE is? Why isn't HE taking care of me?

Thirty seconds later, something good has happened and we are "Praise God." "Thank you, God" "Isn't God good?" "Look what God did for me."

From ax murderer to hero.

I heard a song last Spring that had two words in it describing God's love for us. Relentless Affection. Those two words have stuck.

re·lent·less
: showing or promising no abatement of intensity, strength, or pace

Do you have a bear on your trail right now? Something is terrifying you or seems insurmountable? Impossible? Unfaceable? Maybe you don't even want to get up tomorrow morning?

Satan wants you to think that the One who is trying to lead you through it is the ax murderer. Satan wants you to be afraid to proceed.

I want you to know that the One willing to lead you through it is the Hero. His love will not slow in intensity or strength. Just give him those thirty seconds to open your eyes to His real character.

Relentless Affection.

Relentless Love.